Blackmail
by gdahs
Summary: Ryou's yami, Bakura has always been trouble, after Bakura blackmails Seto Kaiba it is up to Ryou to at least try to convince Bakura to back off and discovers what will. Random one-shot


**Blackmail**

Ryou was happily sitting on the couch, in his apartment that he shares with his yami, Bakura drinking tea before a loud knocking on his front door nearly gave him a heart attack, therefore spilling some of his tea on the couch, cursing quietly to himself. The knocking got louder, hastily yelling out.

"It's open!"

Ryou was just heading to the kitchen to get a paper towel to dab at the couch whist he heard the the front door open slam open and a shout of

"WHERE IS HE?"

Ryou quickly rushed back in the living room where the sight of Seto Kaiba was

"Huh? Where is who?"

"DON'T PLAY DUMB! BAKURA! I'M GOING TO KILL HIM!"

Oh. His yami, Bakura. Rolling his eyes as it was daily occurrence for stuff like this to happen while living with Bakura

"What did he do this time?"

"He's blackmailing me!"

"Huh, with what and for what?"

"MY COMPANY! He got some... certain... stuff on me that cannot be released into the public"

"What stuff?"

"NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS!"

"...sorry"

Calming himself down, taking deep breathes Kaiba opened his mouth about to speak when the door opened and a figure walked in. Yami Bakura formerly known as simply Bakura causally walked in whistling, carrying a big bag with him, Ryou had a suspicion that it was stolen items.

"YOU!" Kabia yelled out

"Hey Ryou, Kabia... what an odd gathering"

"ARGH, DON'T PLAY DUMB ARSEHOLE!"

"Tch, so quick to anger"

Quicker then lightning, Kaiba stepped forward, grabbed the collar of the shirt Bakura was wearing-Ryou's shirt- and pinned him against the wall

"You will give me the proof that you have and I might just let you off easy" Kabia hissed

Bakura smirked. "And what if I say no?"

Ryou quickly jumped in, trying to pull kaiba away from his yami before there will be mass murder happening right in his living room.

"Kaiba, let me talk to my yami and try to convince him otherwise" managing to pry off Kaiba's fingers of Bakura then grabbing Bakura dragging him into the bedroom, Kabia glaring at the retrating form before sitting on the kitchen chair, waiting

Sighing, Ryou thought it'll be easier to get straight to the point then question him later before Kaiba decided they are taking too long and attempts to murder his yami.

"Whatever dirt you have on Kabia, get rid of it"

"And why should I"

"Er... I won't be giving you any money for a week"

"Well if my plans to get 40 per cent profits of Kabia Corp with me doing absolutely nothing go correct then I'll be a millionaire, I won't need your money" Bakura grinned

Ah. That is what he was planning. As much as Ryou loved the idea of getting millions of pounds, he had a feeling his yami wouldn't give him a penny because he is an asshole and this wouldn't be the right way to go, he didn't back down

"I'll make you babysit our neighbour's son"

"His funeral"

"I'll make you hang out with Tea for the day"

"Great, I'll finally get the chance to murder her"

"You'll be cooking for the week"

"Guess you'll be calling your father for money, you know I'm terrible with technology, Ryou"

"...He's already telling me to buy electronics from a different shop from the one I usually buy them from as I pretty much need a new microwave and TV every week, and other technology!"

"I agree, they break far too easily"

"_You_ are the one who got in a fist-fight with the television because you were convinced it was a 'death magic box that sucks out mortal's souls'!"

"I was protecting you!"

"(Face-palm) it does NOT suck people's souls, u moron! And what's your excuse for the microwave!"

"Blame the neighbour, Ryou; it's his fault for playing loud music at an ungodly hour"

"It was _2 o'clock_ in the _afternoon_!" Ryou shot back

"Exactly"

"...He didn't make your throw the microwave, smashing our window in the process, into his garden where it caught on fire setting the poor neighbour's garden on fire!"

"His fault for waking me up. You know I'm not a morning person."

Ryou didn't bother saying anything to that; he long ago gave up trying to figure out Bakura's logic

"Ugh. I still need another TV from when you decided to throw a knife at it. Can probably find the knife still in it as well" Ryou sighed muttering the last bit

"TV?"

Another sigh "Magic box"

"Ah yes. I agree as I need to watch that show Nardia"

"Nardia?"

"You know that show where there's a lion that can talk, a white witch, a wardrobe-

"Oh! You mean Narnia"

"Yes that"

"_Dumbass_" Ryou muttered quietly enough his yami couldn't hear

"Yes well according to the show, wardrobes are the passage to Narnia but no matter how many times I get in the wardrobe, I can't get there"

"..._What_? Are you serious?"

"Yes. Anyway I need to watch that show again to see if I missed any important information. What? Why are you giving me that look?"

"Yami, that show isn't real"

"_What_? That's _impossible_! The magic box told me so!"

"Bakura, pretty much all shows are fictional"

"...No, I don't believe you"

"Fine, you are welcome to continue climbing into the wardrobe like an idiot... wait why do you want to go to Narnia anyway?"

"Personal reasons"

"Ugh. Whatever, wait what were we talking about"

"..."

"Oh yeah, I remember. Well I'll kick you out"

"You wouldn't"

"Watch me"

"Even if you would, I can always crash at Marik's"

"I'll stop cooking dinner for you for the month"

"I can steal it, blackmail someone or go to Marik's house. I'll figure something out"

"I'll make you drive me to work"

"Great, an excuse to run over mortals and to drive like a maniac. Mwahahahaha-"

"Never mind I'll drive myself!" Ryou quickly interrupted his evil laugh or cackling as everyone knows he tends to get carried away with them to which his yami grinned at. Ass

"I'll make you watch the 4 year olds who are coming over here today for the party"

"Do you _want_ me to scar them?"

"Ugh. Fine I won't let you use my clothes anymore. Ha!"

"Can always steal some or nick someone else's"

"We'll move away so you can't torment Yugi anymore"

"Go ahead; I always hated that snot-nosed runt"

"That's not nice!"

"Ryou, dear you should know by now that 'nice' doesn't apply to me"

"Ugh! Or the Pharaoh"

"You know I hate his guts"

"... I'll forbid you from hanging around with Mariku anymore"

"I'll like to see you try" Bakura replied smoothly

"You can't if I forbided it!"

"...forbided? I think it's forbade, dear"

"...Are you sure? That sounds odd. Forbided, forbade hmm"

"Whatever, besides you don't own me"

"I'm the other half of your soul, yami!"

"And your point is?" Bakura deciding he was now bored of this conversation turned his back on Ryou inspecting an object Ryou couldn't see.

"Ass. Well yami, I didn't want to use this but I'll stop having meat in the house!"

The vase- which Ryou found out what his yami was looking at- that Bakura happened to be inspecting suddenly crashed on the floor loudly as it slipped from his yami's fingers, Ryou didn't even want to know where his yami got the vase from as it certainly wasn't his and Ryou had never seen it before in his apartment, no doubt that Bakura had for some reason stolen it. Yes for some reason, Bakura steals _vases. _No matter how much his yami denied it, Ryou was 100 per cent sure that Bakura is kleptomaniac as he tends to steal useless junk he doesn't even need as Bakura's room pretty much has useless junk piled about 3inches high of stuff he doesn't even know what it is.

Bakura's head whipped around to meet Ryou's eyes

"_WHAT_!"

Ryou said smugly "You heard me. No meat: any ham, pork, chicken, bacon and certainly no _steak_!"

The former tomb robber was staring at him as if he just got told the worst news in the world- which it probably was for him. His dark brown eyes were dilated, his face deathly pale-even more than it already was, his mouth agape staring in horror.

"You wouldn't"

"Try me"

"...You can't... what about steak... aha what about you!"

"I'll go vegetarian!"

If possible his yami's eyes widened even more in horror, staring at his _evil_ hikiri in shock

"I'll get if from somewhere else"

"Yes you could but do you really want to go out all the time for meat, hmm, wouldn't it make it far more easier for you to, oh I don't know have me to simply make it for you nearly all the time"

"...all I have to do is...?"

"Let Kaiba have his company back and rip up the proof you have"

"Done!"

Ryou hardly had any time to smile at his victory before his yami stormed out of the room to the room where Kaiba was

"You can have your stupid shares of the company back!" Bakura spat before he made a show of whipping out the piece of paper he had, scrunching it up and then throwing it in the trashcan with perfect aim before storming out the apartment and slamming the door.

Later on when Ryou got some peace, he amusingly thought that if Bakura got 40 per cent of Kaiba Corp then he would be bloody rich! He wouldn't need Ryou to get the meat; he could hire other people for him to have it every day, snickering to himself Ryou wondered why he didn't let Bakura go through with it if it involved getting rich, he could of easily got enough technology to last a lifetime as Bakura somehow breaks at least one per week at best. Smiling, he realised the 'no meat thing' was a way to get his yami to back down from doing stuff like this and illegal things.

**XXX**

**A quick one-shot. Hope you liked it and please review, I know it crappy but it suddenly popped in my head and I was like 'must-write' hehe took longer than I expected but took me about an hour to type up. Yeah I know the grammar sucks, I'll go back another time to fix it because right now it is half 12, and I'm supposed to be doing college work but think everyone does **_**anything**_** to not do work really. I never thought I'll write a yu-gi-oh fiction thing but *shrugs* I know it not that good but oh well. Read, Enjoy and Review!- hopefully anyway. **


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